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Capital letters are played out
According to this article published in The Guardian, “Young people have ditched capitalisation in favour of a writing style that reflects their values and attitudes to tradition. Will this change our language for ever?”
After killing cursive writing, the 9-to-5 workday, phone calls, napkins, the concept of owning a house, traditional marriage, diamonds, the american dream, department stores, doorbells, buffets, cable tv, golf, malls, ironing clothes, meat industry, beer, owning cds or dvds, fast fashion, toxic work culture, facebook, skinny jeans, bar soap, motorcycles, business casual, hustle culture, avocado toast and even the millennial’s responsibility for killing everything, Gen Z are now going after capital letters. It’s the straw that breaks the Camel’s back. Camel with a capital C !
As for the last part of the article’s subheading, Betteridge’s Law of Headlines tells us that no, this won’t change our language for ever.
Asking for a friend: do you know ditching what would change our language forever ?
Hint: it also starts with capital.
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Accelerationism is played out
If there’s anything comforting about everything playing out, right under our very eyes, in the U.S. right now, is that we’re finally gonna find out what actually comes after. The age of Dark Enlightenment, that those neo-reactionary bloggers have been fantasizing about, is here. The Nation’s CEO might not be qualified, but so are your reservations as humanists. Quite a rabbit hole, to say the least.
Asking for a friend: how do you dress up for a Gordian Knot slashing ceremony?
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Discord is played out
Adding to the rumors that the company is preparing to launch an initial public offering, Discord just announced mobile ads.
Enshittification is only a matter of time… to go back to Teamspeak and good old Forums.
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Life hacks are played out
“A strange delusion possesses the working classes of the nations where capitalist civilization holds its sway. This delusion drags in its train the individual and social woes which for two centuries have tortured sad humanity. This delusion is the love of work, the furious passion for work, pushed even to the exhaustion of the vital force of the individual and his progeny. Instead of opposing this mental aberration, the priests, the economists and the moralists have cast a sacred halo over work.”
The right to be lazy by French philosopher Paul Lafargue
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Black plastic cookware is played out
Not that black plastic utensils are out of style, but they could give you cancer, amongst other things.
Coming up next: recycling is played out.
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Doomscrolling is played out
Also fashionable: doomsleeping, doomsnacking, doomjerking, doomwhistling, doombiking, doomdating, doomcleaning and doomstaringatheceillingwhile contemplating the inevitable collapse of civilization, overanalyzing past mistakes, ignoring unread emails, dissociating from your physical form, questioning your career choices, feeling guilty about not exercising, considering deleting all your social media, regretting that text you sent three years ago, wondering if you should start therapy, pretending you don’t hear your phone buzzing, trying to remember the last time you drank water, getting lost in an existential spiral about time being an illusion, and ultimately deciding to just go back to doomscrolling instead..
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Cease and Desist letters are played out
Instead of telling people to stop what they’re doing, send continue and persist letters thanks to Boondoggle & Doggle Partners LLP !
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User experience is played out
- Go to website
- Dismiss cookie warnings
- Dismiss promo
- Find product
- Add to cart
- Login
- Password needs resetting
- Go to webmail
- Dismiss cookie warnings
- Login
- Use 2FA on mobile
- Find email
- Click link
- Dismiss cookie warnings
- Choose new password
- Login
- Answer CAPTCHA
- Go to cart
- Dismiss promo
- Dismiss promo (pt. 2)
- Enter shipping info
- Enter card info
- Use 2FA on mobile
- Confirm order
Congratulations! The internet is shit!
